family therapist
Teen Therapy...
Teenagers today are under an incredible amount of pressure. They are coping with family stressors, school pressures, social issues, hormone changes, technological stimulation, and media influences. Too many teens feel like their lives are speeding by out of control. Additionally they are developmentally ready for more challenge and independence, but there are very few opportunities in our society for teens to explore their independence in safe ways.
I specialize in teen therapy - I can help teens develop strategies to navigate the difficulties of their school and social pressures, to find positive and healthy outlets for their stress and anxiety, and to make choices that lead to success and self esteem.
I also work with parents of teens on communication, appropriate discipline and consequences, and how to respond to a teen who is using alcohol or drugs, depressed, or withdrawn, using self-harm (cutting) as a way to cope with intense emotions, or struggling with eating disorders or other mental health disorders.
After several years working as a teen therapist in High Schools in Marin related to teen depression and suicide prevention, I have included the following information for parents and family members of teens.
Signs that your teen needs help:
- Sleep problems – either insomnia or sleeping too much
- Either not eating or overeating
- Food restricting, binging and purging, excessive exercise
- Irritability
- Anxiety, not being able to relax or have fun, obsessive thinking
- Crying and persistent sadness
- Feeling exhausted all the time
- Isolation – from family and friends
- Lack of motivation in school
- Losing interest in previously enjoyed activities
- A feeling that there is no meaning, what's the point?
- Feeling sick often, body aches, unexplained pain, stomach aches, headaches.
- Cutting (self harm that is not lethal – this is often on the sides of the thighs or the arms).
Warning Signs of Teen Suicide – be aware of the following, especially if the behavior lasts for more than a week:
- Withdrawal from friends, family and regular activities
- Poor hygiene, neglect of personal appearance (that is unusual)
- Increased drug and alcohol use
- Changes in sleeping or eating habits
- Violent actions, unusual defiance, unusual rebellious behavior
- Inability to concentrate or make decisions
- Drop in grades, quality of school work, truancy, unusual lack of motivation
- Extreme anxiety, restlessness, agitation, feelings of intense pressure and overwhelm
- Threatening to kill oneself, statements about ending one's life, preoccupation with death – examples: I'll see you in heaven, you wont have to deal with me much longer
- Expressions of hopelessness and worthlessness – "What's the point?", "I'll never be any good anyway.", "Why bother?" "I'd be better off dead," "I wish I could disappear forever."
- Giving away possessions to friends and family
- Saying goodbye to friends/family as if for good
- Writing stories and poems about death, dying, or suicide
- Talking or joking about committing suicide
The Recommendations for parents below are from - HelpGuide.org
Talk to Your Teen
TIPS FOR TALKING TO A DEPRESSED TEEN
Offer support — Let depressed teenagers know that you're there for them, fully and unconditionally. Hold back from asking a lot of questions (teenagers don't like to feel patronized or crowded), but make it clear that you're ready and willing to provide whatever support they need.
Be gentle but persistent — Don't give up if your adolescent shuts you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Be respectful of your child's comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen.
Listen without lecturing — Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or ultimatums as well.
Validate feelings — Don't try to talk teens out of their depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness they are feeling. If you don't, they will feel like you don't take their emotions seriously.